In the first year after our separation, I had one goal in mind, follow through with filing for divorce, and start a new life for my girls and me. I did that in the first year, and then made a rash decision to move from the state I was in and start anew in another state. When the divorce was over, I was awarded sole custody both legal and physical, so, I had the permission to do what I wanted to do without interference from their father and we could start fresh.

The reality check of where I stood financially, mentally, and emotionally was in the forefront. I started out by trying to create normalcy in a new place for my then nine and eleven-year-old. We homeschooled for the first 6 weeks that we lived in our new state so they could get used to being in a new place and we could all take that time to heal by practicing self-care and finding our outlets. The girls were ready to make new friends, so, off to school, they went.

Working on my credit took me about 2 years to get it to the point that the girls and I could buy a house. I did not want to get back into the cycle of paying someone else’s mortgage so they got the rewards, plus, I have dogs. Have you ever tried to rent a house/condo/apartment with 5 dogs? It can get expensive or impossible. I had family allow my girls and me to stay with them while we regrouped and thanks to Covid, that took longer than expected.

I do not understand the support that narcissists can still find, no matter how many bridges they burn. I could say the same thing about my ex. He has over and over hurt his children, and the one that he hurt the most is the first to jump to his aid. Do I want my ex to crash and burn? Not necessarily, but, I want him to have to do the work.

My goals when I picked my broken self up were to fix my pay off past debt, get a better vehicle, fix my credit, start the healing for my children and myself, and find us our home. I have officially completed every goal I set out for myself and I get to start a new list.

No matter how far down the rabbit hole that your narcissist brings you down, you can find your way out and thrive.

My next goals are to remember how to publish my blogs again and make them look better. Stay tuned…

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