When married to a narcissist there are a lot of reasons you may want to divorce. In fact, you may even want to bring these things up in court or in your petition for divorce but this is not allowed in many states. I was divorced in a no-fault state, which means you’re not permitted to bring them up in court on fault-based grounds, so our divorce was classified under irreconcilable differences. I was able to bring up the abuse when it came to determining custody and parenting time with our children but not for the divorce.
In the States of Wisconsin, Oregon, Washington, Nevada, Nebraska, Montana, Missouri, Minnesota, Michigan, Kentucky, Kansas, Iowa, Indiana, Hawaii, Florida, Colorado and California, a person seeking a divorce has no other option but to claim irreconcilable differences or irreparable breakdown of the marriage.
When I divorced my first two husbands, I did so in Tennessee. Tennessee is not a no-fault state and I was able to bring up that both of them had committed adultery. This made it easier for the judge to grant me a full divorce but they all felt about the same. I didn’t see any difference in how the two proceeded through the courts so my thoughts on which one is better, I have none. A divorce is a divorce. When you have an unhealthy partner it is best just to get out.
In preparation for your divorce if you are in a fault-based state you will have to gather the proof that what you say is fact. Possession is not nine-tenths of the law, it is proof.
If you are in need of divorce coaching please visit Coach Misty and make an appointment.
The no fault divorce needs to change. It is absolutely allowing people to go without accountability. My ex Narc is the reason for me filing and he is in fault for so many things! I am being dragged through hell in this divorce. His not following court orders has made me and my lawyer take him to court continuously to make him abide. He was found in contempt and ordered to pay my lawyer $10,000. He still is not flowing orders and wrote the court that I am filing unnecessary court hearings on fabrication because I know he can afford to pay and I am bitter. Unbelievable! Now I am taking him to court for not paying my entire spousal support. He will lose but I hate court and this is wearing me down. Any advice? Thanks! Kimberley
Keep up the good work Kimberly. They will always be this way and he is probably waiting to wear you down. He probably feels that eventually, you will back down. I am not receiving support at all and have turned it over to the state to avoid any type of contact. I am thinking outside the box on things that I can do to financially to make it without his help at all. Just remember what you are going through is like a tug of war, who will give up first?