This summer has flown by, which is odd because summer seemed to have taken forever before, but not in a good way.
I just remember dreading the summer. The kids would be home and getting and keeping things cleaned around the house was damn near impossible and I knew that the narc would have plenty to throw my way as far as verbal abuse about how I sit on my ass all day and do nothing; yet, his meals were cooked, his bills were paid, the kids were alive, and we had clean clothes to wear.
Last summer was the first summer of freedom, but it was also at a time that I feared for my life. I had just filed a temporary domestic violence injunction on him for stalking me and threatening to bury me if I took his kids away while seeking sole custody and it was continued to the end of summer. Last summer felt like it would never end.
This summer though has been full of new experiences, a lot of family health issues including my youngest daughter and a lot of family time. There are times that being a single parent is harder than I remember but remembering how free I am to do what I want when I want makes it all worth it.
We have traveled, my kids have experienced camp for the first time, I have gotten to spend time with my mom who slips further away due to Alzheimer’s, and hang out with my dad. I am not stressing about anything, unless you count the current state of our government, and the girls are ready for school. Freedom from everyday stress is amazing.
The only thing about this summer that I regret is the two minutes and forty-two seconds that I will never get back. It was the two-minutes and forty-two-second voicemail that my children’s father left on my phone. This phone call was to tell me that he was entering into a “lo-ong” term treatment center. He asked me not to file any of the paperwork that I have drawn up until he gets out.
My guess would be that the paperwork he is talking about is the papers to remove his rights. I actually have a countdown clock on my phone so if he is hoping to stop it he might want to make sure that he completes what he has to in that “lo-ong” term facility as short as he can. I will be filing to remove them in 78 days. Tick, tick, tick, that’s the sound of your time ticking away.
When he ended the conversation he did so by saying, “I love you” with a 5-second pause followed by, “Hayleigh, I love you, Prudence, I love you, puppies.” The phone call was full of the same shit different day kind of stuff. He is doing this to better his family and I owe him the chance.
The last I looked I don’t owe him anything, least of all my time. I have given him every chance to be a father and even fought for him to be a father to his older kids over the years, but, my time is up. I am done fighting to get him to do the right thing and I am done giving any more chances. The choices you make today will affect you for the rest of your life.
For Divorce Coaching and Advice visit Misty Dawn.