Even though most narcissists have a lot of similarities such as their way of communicating with us and the things they say; when you are divorcing things can be different between each one. Listening to the stories of others and the fight that they have had to go through and the length of time the divorce took was different than my own.
I filed in January 2018 and was granted the divorce on October 16, 2018, but as I have learned through coaching some of us don’t get through it that soon. Some of this is due to custody, money, or assets. By the time my husband and I divorced I had already lost everything that I came into the marriage with. We lived in a house we rented and everything we owned was free or second hand so there was nothing to divide. He was in default so, not involved in the divorce at all.
I still had to prove his ability to pay support and also had to fight for sole custody since a lot of states would rather you have 50/50 but it was not a fight really, it was just pleading my case in court as to why I should have it. I proved that for the health and well being of my children, he should not have parenting time.
Because my ex has seven kids by four women, I have been able to watch how things went with his other kids and exes and now that I know and understand the game I have chosen to bow out. I don’t want to get “good” at chasing money down that my ex is legally obligated to pay. I will enjoy my children and do the best that I can do as a mother while he continues to ignore the rest as they fight for his attention. I did not marry him for the money he had or could make but for the love that I was manipulated to feel. I choose no more manipulation or abuse.