I survived one of the hardest holidays I have had in a while. The energy of the house full of people with different issues of their own and me living very much in my head knowing that I have family members talking shit about me behind my back, set the day off right.

My mom was here and I loved seeing her and my dad. I missed my brother and my sister but not necessarily my sister’s gossiping nature. So evidently, my sister who has not spent more than 10 minutes in the same room as me at the same time since I have been around, thinks she knows who I am all because she is talking to people who also know nothing about me. One day they will care to know me and not their already formed opinion about me when they have not been with me in almost 2 decades.

When everyone got here yesterday it was first my brother and my sister-in-law. Everyone was getting a look at my mom while I was feeding her. A few simple hellos and it was business as usual. Everyone was catching up and things were OK. Mom is now a pretty slow eater and feeding her was a great distraction. I could focus on her and her needs and not worry so much about who said what to whom.

My sister and her crew showed up a little while later and the hellos were given with my mom as I was still feeding her. My sister called me a narcissist just a couple of days ago yet she has probably never even looked up the word. She says it is because I think it is all about me. Wonder who is giving her that information? She isn’t getting it because she knows me. You can tell a lot about how someone acts towards you when they are pissed and what they say at that moment. I learned a lot about my sister that day and I will hold those lessons dear and act accordingly from here on out.

So for the holiday and for everyone else involved I kept everything in my head and said nothing about what was bothering me to anyone. I put on the happy face and said my please and thank yous and internalized everything. I relived the argument and the things said during it and throughout the conversations that I heard throughout the day over and over and kept my mouth shut. The blessing in all of this is I know where I have been and I know where I am going. Those that are not with me are against me so I will do me.

I think I have narrowed it down on who is talking shit and one of them is still talking to my ex so I know it is nothing but a smear campaign. I will remember other peoples opinions of me is none of my business an go about my business and move on. How did you manage the first holiday of the season? Was it better than most? Worse? Share your thoughts and let’s talk about it.


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