The following is the statement I wrote and intended on reading during my Domestic Violence Injunction hearing. It is almost 2019 and women should be able to talk about the abuse they have been through in their life. I was raped, I was choked, I was threatened, but worst of all he played games with my head. The Domestic Violence laws should be changed to include the many other types of abuse like verbal, mental, emotional, and financial abuse.

 

 

Your honor, I want to start out by saying that I have an anxiety disorder as well as C-PTSD from the 12 years of gaslighting and manipulation along with physical, verbal, mental, sexual, emotional and financial abuse that I have endured. As defined in FL S741, Mr. XXXX has committed battery against me, sexual battery as defined in FL S794, false imprisonment as defined in FL S787 in the past and most recently stalked me FL S784 by trying to track my location through my phone causing emotional stress after credible threats to break my fingers (March 2018) and bury me if I take his kids away. (April 2018)

Since our last court date on June 12, Mr. XXXX is in violation of page 6 paragraph 13 of the injunction as well as page 3 paragraph 2 subsection (a) because he contacted Ashlye at the end of July and also this month and passed messages along to her sisters as well as tell her that he does not deserve to have the injunction in place and that he is clean and sober. I filed a report with PCSO with Corporal M. B (1*0*01*3), Mr. XXXX has not contacted her since December 2017 and with him passing messages to her sisters, this is a violation of the temporary injunction in place.

Without telling the whole story I don’t think it’s as easy to understand why the DVI should stay in place. It is impossible to heal from PTSD while still being victimized through mental, verbal, and emotional abuse. In the 91 days of no contact and prepping for this case I have had to go back through thousands of emails and messages and have seen the patterns of abuse I have been through over the years. Love bomb, devalue, silent treatment, discard, repeat. Also in that 91 days, my life has made many positive changes. I’m currently taking a course to be a certified life coach and I’m writing for a website with over 50k subscribers while working from home. I am well on my way to healing by talking about my experiences with others and finding support in knowing I am not alone. I was made to believe that there was something wrong with me for most of the 12 years and I am here to say that there was nothing wrong with me. I managed life with a TBI for 9 years before I met him and I was my most successful in those years.

I met Mike on MySpace in September 2005 and we talked on the phone and on MySpace but did not officially meet until October 16, 2005. He told me he was a recovering drug addict with his drug of choice being cocaine and an alcoholic even though he was still drinking. Courtney, his 14-year-old daughter moved in with me on October 18, 2005, because he was fixing to be evicted from his apartment and she left the state with me on October 21, evacuating hurricane Wilma. He officially moved in with me on October 25, 2005. He also had Cory (13) that lived with his ex-father-in-law, Brianna (8) and Madison (5) who lived with their mother Carrie, and a 5 month-old son Austin who lived with his mother Danielle. He did not have any real kind of relationship with his older kids until they became adults and even then it is not a parenting relationship it is more of a friend and he is just now visiting with Austin who is now 12 after many years of not visiting him even though we lived fairly close to all of them.

The abuse started very subtly with a name he called me to Danielle in November 2005, frumpy is innocent enough, I guess? The name calling got worse and included bitch, bipolar, and crazy just to name a few. These names were called to me in front of my children, his children, and later our children together. He made it out to look like all of this was my fault.
His children stopped coming over because of my cooking or something else I did, or so he said. He would alter my reality and repeat it so much that I would believe him. When Mr. XXXX would be called out on his lies he would rage and stand over me yelling at the top of his lungs while cussing me out and calling me names he would also throw in some word salad that would end up leaving me confused and frustrated. He would call me crazy or bipolar because of my reactions to his behavior. He always talked over me and never gave me a chance to express my concerns.

Look for the rest in this series. The best is yet to come. 

If you have any questions or comments please leave them below. I will no longer be silenced. What about you?

 

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