Mr. XXXX went into detox on November 21, 2017, at a facility in St. Pete or Clearwater, I was not allowed to know where and his daughter did not respond when I asked her where he was. He called me the first day and said that if I did not have a relationship with his mother we would not work out. I had already decided that we weren’t going to work out not only because she is someone who is a definite trigger to my anxiety and I knew she was toxic before I knew what toxic was but also because before I kicked him out he admitted to not being clean since before he worked for Hop’s and that was before we even met. That was the last we talked while he was there other than a short call on Thanksgiving. Mr. XXXX continued to borrow money and use drugs when he got out of detox including while he was supposed to be on Suboxone. The reason I know this is because he got out of detox around December 1st and was fired from his job on January 1st for continuing to borrow money for drugs from the customers at his work. He also borrowed money from coworkers with the idea that it was for Christmas presents for his children. My kids didn’t get their Christmas presents until March, maybe it was for his other children? In December I tried to talk to Mr. XXXX about what he wanted in the divorce and what he would pay in child support. He never wanted to talk about it and then told me on January 7th he was leaving the state after threatening to turn off my power in his name on the 5th. I filed for divorce on the 10th to make sure I was able to serve him before he left on January 17, 2018, and he went into default in March.
I did not cut all communication at first because I needed him to do something eventually financially because I am on a fixed income but later realized that money was the biggest way he was manipulating me. March 2018 he threatened me by saying, “I am going to break your fucking fingers” because he wanted to talk to me on the phone and not use email or text message. He told me shortly after that he was coming to the state from 5/24-06/01 and that is when I gave him my 30-day notice that I was moving out of the house that we shared. He asked if I was going to give him the address and I told him no that he would have to go to the courthouse if it was important enough for him to have.
When I told him in April 2018 that I saw the magistrate for the divorce and had to file a new parenting plan because he left the state and the first was null and void he told me, “if you take my kids away from me I will bury you.” I was seeking sole custody because of his drug abuse and lies about such over the 12 years. I can not trust him and my children have expressed no desire to see him.
On May 13th, Mother’s Day, Mr. XXXX called for what I thought would be a nice call so I answered it on speaker. My kids and I got to enjoy his rage one last time where he cussed me out and called me names because I asked him for check stubs a few days before and he did not want to provide them. That is when I came to the conclusion that Mr. XXXX was only using the money to manipulate me and once again he would lie at all cost. Mr. XXXX got to the state on Thursday, May 24 and texted me but I did not answer. He also sent a text on Friday, May 25. The next contact he made was on Sunday, May 27th when he told me that he was free from Tuesday, May 29th until his flight left on June 1st, Prudence’s birthday. I ignored that text also. On Tuesday, May 29th was the first time since he left that I felt fear when he asked whether I was going to let him see the kids. Since the divorce had not been to court yet and our daughters did not want to see him because of the abuse they have witnessed towards me and his inability to do what he says he is going to do for them, so I told him I was not in the area and that I was not coming to him. He said he could track my phone number and I was texting him from Port Richey Walmart and lived on Spanish Moss. Neither was true so I was not worried until he sent Hayleigh a link on Hangouts to track her phone. She immediately showed me the text and I made plans to come the next day to file the injunction because that is along the lines of stalking. I realized he would stop at nothing to find out where we were even though he could have gone the legal route.
Mr. XXXX says he is clean and sober but I know this to not be a fact since he went out drinking with Courtney and Ryan while he was in the state in May and had his 12-year-old son for a visit and this was told to Malissa, my daughter, by Courtney and confirmed to her by Mr. XXXX via FB messenger. Mr. XXXX will try to lie and manipulate the court to believe that everything was my fault as he has tried to do this with my sister in law, my adult children, as well as our minor children or that lying about money and drugs is all he ever did or that he is clean and sober, but none of that is true.
I ask the court to extend the injunction for at least a year to allow Mr. XXXX the time to truly become clean and sober and this includes the Suboxone that he is taking because of his opioid addiction and to also give me more time to heal from his abuse. I would also like the court to order Mr. XXXX to seek a psychological evaluation by someone who specializes in Cluster B personality disorders because I believe that he has an undiagnosed personality disorder and don’t want to have my children emotionally manipulated by him or verbally attacked any more than they already have been. The last thing I will ask the court to do is require Mr. XXXX to submit to random drug testing over the year to make sure that he is off drugs including the blockers and to also require him to stay away from alcohol.
Going through the Domestic Violence Injunction and filing for my own divorce from a covert narcissist is what led to Divorce Your Narcissist. It is something our community was missing. I look forward to helping you along in your journey. I am available most days including weekends for anything you might need. Feel free to schedule a session with me here and I will help guide you on your way to a happier, healthier new way of life.