The first summer as a single parent for the second time around, really the third, but I will say being a single parent of one was much easier than two both times. Being a single mother of two and this time being in hiding makes it extra difficult but I will do anything to keep the kids and myself safe.
At the beginning of the summer, I was merely surviving. I was doing everything in my power to keep the girls happy with all of the adjustments that they have gone through just in the last 9 months while trying to feel settled in an unsettled life. I haven’t found where the girls and I will plant roots but I know I am closer every day. It has been almost 10 months since I divorced my narcissist and he is still making empty threats via voicemail, email, and text, but the difference now is his words and threats don’t have the same effect on me and I know I don’t have to listen to his nonsense. I believe this comes with time and getting out of survival mode and into the thriving mode. If I can do it, so can you, it is time to make a plan.
This summer has taken the girls and me many places. We have had a lot of time together and each of the girls has also had time to be independent on their own and they have risen to the occasion. Getting to know each of them at this time one on one has been my greatest joy and has made me realize that not only am I a strong independent woman, but I am also raising two strong independent women now as I have done with my oldest two. This summer taught me that I would do well to live for a minute in Prudence’s head. She is smart and funny and she does things her way in her time. She has a fun imagination and she relates to things much different than my older three girls. She is random and sweet but also innocent and soft-hearted and she doesn’t mind silence at all.
Middle School years are the roughest years in school for most people but I have a feeling that Hayleigh was made for middle school and that she is ready to rock it out of the park. She has grown and matured so much in this short time that I am excited to see what kind of woman she will be in the future. Hayleigh is smart and responsible and follows the rules set before her. When she is alone she does a great job cleaning but if anyone is around she would rather not, I am the same way. She doesn’t like silence and can talk for hours straight with the new and fun things in her head from any given day. I am so lucky to be their mother.
I finally feel strong and no longer am I bothered by his voice, his messages, or his threats. I don’t owe him anything and I will not go out of my way to make his struggles my problem. My girls and I are doing well and navigating through this life with the cards we were dealt and after this summer it feels awesome to know that I not only survived the roughest years of my life but that I am also thriving without changing who I am and what I stand for.
If you are currently in a toxic relationship, I want to tell you that there is so much more out there for you. You do not have to be someone’s punching bag nor do you have to live with the abuse. Start making your plan and get out sooner than later. I promise it will be the best decision of your life.
If you are in need of divorce coaching with me, Misty Dawn. make an appointment and let’s get started.