When divorcing your narcissist something I hear a lot about from clients is, “How do you get the court to enforce an order?” Something to remember is that the order is just a piece of paper and if you want to try to enforce it you would have to revisit the case in court. You can file ‘Contempt of Court” charges and try to get the court to punish them to make them see the light.

If the part of the order that is not being followed is financial support whether it be child or spousal support the court will continue to add that money up and if your ex ever comes into money, it will be yours if they are income deducted. If there is a criminal aspect to it such as a restraining order that is not being followed you have the police on your side so I recommend reporting it every time the lines are crossed. If it does not get settled in the first attempt, eventually it will. The squeaky wheel gets the oil.

You can always take them back to court for contempt if you have the time and the tolerance to go through another hearing but I am choosing to just let it go for now. My kids are good as am I so there is no hurry in my eyes. My ex is up to $11,000 owed now and I know it will get much higher over the next 8 years I have until my youngest ages out but it is something I am used to watching because he has done it with all seven of his children so far.

I have sole custody and he does not have any parenting time so in the end, I won. Even though I know that he should be supporting the children he helped bring into this world, I also know that this is his normal. He is a deadbeat and has been for all of his children for the last 27 years.

If things get rough with finances just try to think outside the box on ways that you can earn money in any way possible. My latest attempt at making him go away has been a call to the IRS to turn him in for tax evasion. A lot of deadbeats will just avoid filing their taxes to avoid paying anything in support. If they can’t have the money they would just as soon not give it to anyone Eventually, I will get paid or he will go away. Either one works for me.

Visit QueenBeeing.com for more tips on how to cope with the stress of divorcing a narcissist. Schedule a session with our divorce coach and paralegal Misty Dawn for personal support as you go through the process of divorce.

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