It may seem like the narcissist always wins but what happens when Karma pays a visit?
When my ex left, after me finding pills in his possession and kicking him out, he did so by leaving me broke with rent, electric, and phone bills due. When my adult daughter called his mother to pick him up, I could feel the blame coming through the phone and after his daughter picked him up and refused to give me any information I could tell I was fighting a losing battle so I decided to bow out. If I was not getting the information from him then I guess I didn’t need it. He went into detox, but before entering he called to tell me his demands on us getting back together. Who did he think he was? He was in no position to make demands. We only talked one or two other times while he was in detox. He was bitter after all, I was the reason he had to go since I kicked him out. No one else wanted him while he was on drugs. I didn’t want him on drugs. He used gaslighting and manipulation to hide it from me for so long. If I knew all along what was going on I would have been out so much sooner.
With no bills and no responsibility, how would he manage?
He quickly moved out of state for daddy to save him as he had done so many times before. My first thought was, what the hell is this man, my father-in-law, thinking? Why would he give my husband a one-way ticket away from all of his responsibility? He still had 4 minor children in the state and two of them belonged to me. Deep inside I knew it was only a matter of time before he was back on drugs again because from my research I learned that his new state was high in opioids. I did call my father-in-law on a couple of occasions after we separated only to be ignored, even after leaving messages to call me back. He never did. A year and a half after my first phone call and message, he wants to claim not having contact with my children broke his heart. He could have fooled me. I have not received any calls from him and he was the one person we would have answered for. Feels a little like the blame game to me.
Every time my ex spoke to my children or myself, which was not many over the year and a half that we have been apart, he would claim to be clean and sober. I saw a problem with this because he had been saying that for the 12 years I knew him only for me to find paraphernalia over and over through the years and it to be explained away. He knew no other way but to lie and everyone including me bought it, wholeheartedly. Just like his family bought every word he said about me. When I continued to not get child support and heard that it was hit or miss with his other children and he always used excuses as to why he had no money I knew it was a matter of time before someone would find drugs but I knew it would never have to be me again. Divorcing my Narcissist was the smartest thing I ever did.
What happens when time runs out?
Fast forward 15 months since the day he left and the 18 months since his first day of claiming clean and sober after detox and my now ex-husband is sitting in jail awaiting a hearing with a $10k bond. This is not a charge for child support to which he is $13k behind for me alone. Not for the tax evasion charges, he will be facing when the IRS decides to find him. No, he is in jail on a drug charge. I will be calling the state that he is in and also the state that I am pulling child support from and asking what if anything can be done for his lack of support since he is in jail. If the charges could be added that would be perfect. Look for an upcoming update to see where this goes.