Just a quick article to discuss contested and uncontested divorces. Hope all of my survivors are doing well today.
A contested divorce is where you and your spouse can’t come to an agreement on the important factors of a divorce. Those factors include the division of property, the division of debt, child custody, Child Support, and spousal support. If there is a disagreement on one of the factors then it becomes a contested divorce.
Sometimes these things can be taken care of in mediation. Mediation is an intervention into a dispute, in order to resolve it. A mediator will assist the parties in a mutually satisfactory settlement. The mediation process is voluntary and non-binding. Non-Binding means that a decision can not be imposed on the parties. The parties must voluntarily agree to accept it.
Having an uncontested divorce is cheaper and faster than the contested divorce. In an uncontested, the parties agree on all of the aspects of the divorce and the division of everything. You don’t hear about toxic relationships ending uncontested so if you were able to get one you were completely fortunate.
When you divorce your narcissist you can guarantee that it will not be cut and dry. If your spouse doesn’t contest the divorce or agree to it, you end up with a spouse in default. Default is the failure to fulfill an obligation. Contrary to popular belief you don’t necessarily get what you have asked for when your spouse goes into default. There may be other things that you have to prove to get what you seek to get out of the divorce.
Divorcing a narcissist is hard and very frustrating. If you can find some time to take care of yourself through all of the chaos and not letting the small stuff take over it will be a success to not be connected when it is over. I have been going through this process for 259 days and I have 11 days to go. I have raised my children without support for 259 days and I have 8 years and 8 months to go.